"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." ~ Buddha
Once again, I know it has been a while since I've posted. I've been going through so much........I don't know........inner turmoil lately. Lots of anxiety & panic over all sorts of stuff, especially work. I've not been myself. I've been depressed. I wake up every morning with the only things that are making me glad are Skip, Lucy (our dog), Stella (our cat)........& that I'm still alive......still.....sometimes.....I wonder.
There are days that I am absolutely terrified to go into work. There are times that I want to just stay in the Tarrytown area, where I feel "safe". The way I've been feeling/acting/panicking has not only myself, but others concerned apparently.
I need some time off from work to shake it all out of my head & get back to real life, but I don't know how long that is or what it means exactly. I wish I could go to Montauk for at least a few days to be alone where I love it the most & meditate by the ocean.
I don't know what to do for myself or feel anymore really...........
4 comments:
You seemed unhappy at book club. I didn't want to say anything then since you might not want to talk about it in front of a group. I want you to be happy but I also know how hard that can be. Try to look at it as a bridge washed out in your path and try to figure out a detour. There is no telling how long the detour is but you will get to your destination eventually. Be patient.
I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling lately, I don't like the way you sound at all! Do whatever you need to do to get better! I'm here if you need a friend to talk to! Big hugs, Martha
oh, how i wish there was something i could do. i'm sorry to read this...and i try to understand. i know nobody is inside your head & heart having the same feelings that you are. but know that you're loved, and we care...wish i could come visit. dammitall. xoxo phin
We seem to be running in parallel with these feelings. I've started to wonder if my emotional trainwreck has to do with change of life issues. I seem to be headed down that path at a more rapid pace in the last couple months. It would be a relief if I could put a label on my issues. Not just generally losing my mind, but seriously hormonally imbalanced. That makes it better somehow.
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